A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it’s 3am. And you’re home alone. And you don’t have a baby.

Jesus dog ass?

or Snoop Dogg ass?
what do you call a hooker that you pay with spaghetti?
a pastatute
how many people unfollowed you because of this
20
I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do
that would be so fucking convenient